Making my life movie-worthy

The question posed to our creative Quest group: If you knew your life story would be based on choices next year, how would you live?

Well, first of all, can it be a movie vs. just a story? A movie sounds so much more interesting.

Lois, Sweetheart, it can be whatever you want. This is a creative exercise.

OK, then, this is what I'm going to do so that my life is "movie-worthy."

1. I will channel the late, great actress Ruth Gordon every day, dressing well, speaking frankly, walking briskly. Though probably not taking on a much younger lover. (But you never know.)

2. I will write my ass off, finishing the book that I cannot, will not, call a memoir or a collection of essays. It needs a badass categorization. No, scrap that. "Badass" is as trendy as memoir. Can I create a new category?

Sweetheart, you can do anything you want. You're writing the movie.

3. I will buy non-smudge mascara because I'd hate to look like an ex-con if there's footage of me in the movie.

4. "This will knock them on their asses," will be the filter for writing my business speeches.

5. When writing business speeches I will turn up the volume on my music and sing out at the top of my lungs with Teddy Pendergass:

Wake up everybody, no more sleepin' in bed.
No more backward thinkin' time for thinkin' ahead

6. When traveling alone I will eat meals at the bar and talk to strangers. Oh, the experiences I've had at fancy bar hotels. (Note to self: add the money laundering story about the Interpol guy at the Vancouver bar?)

7. I will be be more judicious in my use of ass, bullshit and fuck. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the joy of swearing is with me."

8. If my gut says, "Oh, baby, there's a story waiting to happen here, " I will accept the invitation.

9. If a man says, "Oh, baby" to me I will light up and accept the adoration. I'm sure Gloria Steinem and Ruth Gordon would, too.

10. I will reject "top 10 lists" because juicy movies just ain't that neat and orderly.

Oh, baby, this year could be a fuckin' great movie if you keep some of the bullshit parts. Redact? Hell no!


NOTE: This is the book that I finished after writing my creativity declaration.